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Monday, November 14, 2005 

Why cant people see the signs?

I know someone that was “dumped” for lack of a better word and she says it took her completely by surprised, I told her she missed the signs.

We have all been in relationships where you see the “signs” that shit just aint going right... I can honestly say that I pretty much know when a relationship is about to be over although I did get blind-sided once with an Ex(I sooo did not see the end of that coming) but I pretty much know when the relationship is over. Lets list some signs shall we?


1. Sex Reduction ---- Example {It goes from 3 times a week to 3 times a month

2. Emotional Distance—Example {you use to tell each other everything now your selective about the things you say

3. Hypothetical conversations --Example {“If we were to break up” ....You know the Drill. LOL

4. Prep Plans- Example {Assessing your life with out them in it. i.e. How you’ll cover the bills on your own etc.



These are just a few but believe it or not a lot of people miss these signs…..


Have you ever missed the signs? When did you know it was over?

Yeah, you were definitely on point with the signs.

I didn't miss the sign in my last relationship. Forget the emotional distance, there was just distance period. Didn't see each other for three weeks, and we live 10 minutes away from each other (driving). Hell, we didn't even break up face to face.

I think people do see the signs...but they just aren't ready to let go.....

This is usually where all the drama, and resentment comes into play. It should't have to be this way, if we lived in a perfect world it be!

~Smooches~

With my last relationship which I just came out of 3-4 weeks ago, but it had been dead for me for some months... I was the one sending signs... (#1 and #3 on your post)

Flipping the tables, I can anytime I didn't see the signs, is when I choose not too, but as I can be very vocal at times, I tend to call that out when I see it.

Cause some dudes like to play that hot/cold game...

I've never missed any signs but I have pretended not to see them. Only helped to prolonge the inevitable.

Aight. I'm a firm believer no one can do any more to you than you allow them to. In saying that I've never missed the signs, but I've chosen to overlook them, because I wasn't ready to let go. There were situations where I thought to myself, "I know this isn't going to last long, but I'm having fun." OR when it was actually in a serious relationship. It wasn't anything wrong that we were doing to each other, it was just differences that we had as far as life. I decided I wasn't ready to give him up, so I didn't until I was ready.
I felt justified, because I knew what I was doing. I wasn't kidding myself, but enjoying my time until it ended

There are more signs than what you spoke on baby. What about not answering calls anymore, and never returning calls. Then a Muthafukka calls you from a different number and you pick right up.

@ Boss mack.... I had to chuckle on that one cause I have done it and had it done to me

ROFLMAO I always did the breaking up... no one has ever broken up with me, so I didn't miss shit. LOL

Yeah but I think a couple of my exes missed the signs cuz two of them were REALLY surprised that it was over... when I personally thought we were both on the same page.

Those signs are great... but, as I am wont to do I will add some to your list:

5. getting irritated by shit you once thought was cute. Where you used to say, "Aww... I love how he sings to me all the time..." you now say, "I wish he would SHUT THE FUCK UP"

6. wanting more "me" time. In the beginning you couldn't WAIT to be around them and now you can't WAIT to get time alone.

7. not thinking of the person as often. Whereas in teh beginning you would think of them CONSTANTLY and every little thing would remind you of them... like if you saw a daisy, *sigh* "his favorite color is yellow" or if you saw a cat, *sigh* "he's allergic to cats" and now you can go through a whole day and not necessarily think of him at all... *shrug*

Those are some stages I've been through before a breakup to let me know that it was time to BOUNCE!!! LOL

Most people see the signs and feel them, even if they're not explainable or tangible... cuz when it's about to be over the relationship FEELS different - but they ignore them because they are afraid of the unknown, or afraid of being alone. *shrug*

@ X ... I cant believe I missed number 5! LOL

When people don't see the signs there is nothing you can do.. I didn't see the signs for 7 years and I am just fine now.

But believe me when they do finally see the signs they will come to terms with their stupidity and will all of a sudden know everything and be trying to tell you about your signs even if there are not any.

Enjoyed a lot!
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