Thursday, July 28, 2005 

From Lovers to roomates

From Lovers to roomates… what the hell happened?

In every relationship you have your “ bad times” . That time when things between the two of you just aint right. Maybe you try to work things out, maybe you wait till the storm passes to see whats up, but either way they is some kind of “standstill “ of the relationship.

I’ve been in this relationship for more than 10 years and I just feel like we have grown apart. I don’t want to continue being unhappy cause other people have a hard time excepting the truth. The truth is that Im not in love with him although I do love him. Its been like this for awhile now. I hate that I feel this way but I do.

I know that I am not perfect but I have been there through everything and all I want is a little romance. Some ambition on his part and to be “ in love “ again.

Now don’t think that I haven’t mention this to him cause I have no problem saying what I got to say. He knows. Its just that we have kids so he thinks because of that I am going to stay by his side cause I don’t want to hurt my kids……and he is right. That’s the only thing keeping me by his side and I know that’s not healthy but I am trying to do the right thing for all of us.

So my question is how long do you wait to see if your relationship has a chance before you throw in the towel?

Monday, July 25, 2005 


Ok so I come from a big family and if you come from the same situation you know that everybody has something to say. I'll admit I am not the type of person that can " hold" my tong, but at least I am HONEST!

Thats right!!!! I say what I have to say but I say it in your face. I don't go around behind your back with it. I put my cards on the table.

So now I heard from family members that certain family members have a problem with me and are talking mad SHIT.

To them I say: SAY IT TO MY FACE!!!!!!!!!

If you go a problem don't tell someone to tell someone, to tell me . Tell me your dam self. If I am wrong ( and thats not very often) I'll be the first to admit it but if you don't want honesty go talk to someone else.

I am so tired off everyone having an "opinion" or agreeing with me but don't have the balls to stand up in front off those same people and say that. Everybody wants to make me the BAD GUY.

Not that it matters cause I really don't give a dam what certain family members have to say, all I want is those same people who sit there and agree with me in private to do that same shit in front of them.

I am by no means a perfect person but what you will get from me is honesty. Whatever I have to say to you, Im going to say it in your face.

Ranting done. Whew!!!! I feel better now. Sorry fellow bloggers .......I just had to let that out!

Wednesday, July 20, 2005 

Romance- Truth or fairytale?

Ok so I am a huge fan of romance and all that that entails. Flowers, Poems, long walks...I love it .....all of it. The only problem, I've never had any of that. Sure I get flowers every mothers day but that’s about it. So my question is how can I love all of that if I've never had it in this relationship or any before. Am I just in love with "romance"?......with what I read about in romance novels or what I see in movies?

Am I crazy to want something so bad that I am almost "Demanding" it?

See, you would think that I had a relationship all about romance and that because of that I would be so unhappy not having it in my life , but No . ITS NEVER HAPPEND FOR ME!!!!!!!!

Does romance really exist or is it all a " fairy tale"?

Please shine light on this. Whats the most romantic thing someone has done for you?

Monday, July 18, 2005 

Rock-a-bye baby

So my kids are playing with their baby dolls and I can here them singing Rock-a-bye baby and it made me think. Have we really paid attention to the song….

Rock-a-bye baby on the treetop
When the wind blows
The cradle will rock
When the bough breaks
The cradle will fall
And down will come baby
Cradle and all

WTF? We’ve been singing this song to children for years and we wonder why some of them are screwed up? Who wrote this? What the hell were they thinking?

Friday, July 15, 2005 

Grandma, I Love you but …..

Have you ever had someone in your life that no matter what you do they find something to criticize. Ok so my grandma is going to be 89 this year and I do love her but man is she a bitch. These are the things I would like to say to her.

1.Yes I had kids young (I was 19) but I have been with the same man for almost thirteen years and were married, stop betting me up about the same thing.

2.Yes have put on some weight. Did you think I didn’t notice that when I get dress everyday?…. Oh but it hasn’t stop my man from trying to get some every

3. Yes I wear short skirts (anything above the calf to her is short), highheels and makeup. I like to look nice. That does not make me a hoe……am I suppose to where turtlenecks and sweatpants in the summer …I don’t think so.

4. Yes I like to go out and have fun. I work all day and when I get home I work all night. I deserve a break……Amen

5. If you ever think that I will choose you over my own Mother your just crazy… have issues with her I don’t .… to me she is a queen and if you fuck with her you bring out the devil in me.

6. Last but not least ……YOU’RE A BITCH…. But I love you anyway. May god bless you and keep you well … but he better watch his back when you get to heaven ….lol

Whew!!!!! Glad I got that off my chest.

Wednesday, July 13, 2005 

The save the world syndrome!!!!!! Why we get Played.

For those of you not familiar with this syndrome its when you feel so bad for someone else's situation that you go out of you way to help that other person even when you really can't.

I was diagnosed with said syndrome when I was about 18. My ex brother-in-law was a bum. My sister supported the family ( at that time 2 kids) he never supported anyone but himself. So what did I do. I did laundry ( hers and the kids) I bought winter coats, summer clothes, sneakers, sandals and baby sat.........OFTEN. When that wasn't enough I took in her kids for about 2 months, supported them all this time with the money that my husband would give to me for "personal use". Its was ok I was happy to help. But then ( now here is where I got Played) I asked her to take her kids over the weekend cause I needed a break ( I had 2 kids of my own) she flip out !!!!!! Talking about how she never gets any help.

HELLO are you fucking crazy??????????? WTF? To this day she says that no one has ever done anything for her. GIVE ME A FUCKING BREAK.

Ok so you would think I would learn from this ......not. So My husband niece is such a cutie but of course her mother is a BITCH. This poor child does not have a father in the picture and the mother is too into the new "dick" in her life to give a dam about her. Ok so lets have her come over for a "play date" . She brings her over, I could tell that she hadn't brushed her hair in days (gross) her clothes.. 2 sizes to small and dirty at that. So what do I do.......... I go out buy her new clothes and new sneakers . I bathe her, brush her hair and we wait for her mother to pick her up (here's where I get played) She comes to pick her up 3 days later and then she wants someone to bring her down stairs.....WTF?

Ok so my brother has a legal situation and needs money..... ok this is my bro. I know him. He has no money but he is begging and pleading " please I will pay you back I promise" Ok against my better judgment I get the money. Few years pass I don't bother him about it cause he said he would pay it back...... Well I don't know what he did but he comes into some money (heres where I get played) This MTF bought a motorcycle!!!!!! So I ask " when am I going to get my money"" I don't have it now I just bought the bike you should have said something before" WTF????????

This is the short list.......I could go on for days.

Now we should help people because its the right thing to do, but because we have said syndrome that doesn't give people the right to shit on you.

I hope I am not the only one afflicted with this syndrome.

Tuesday, July 12, 2005 


In a few post that I have read it seems every one is talking about "friends". That made me think about friendship here are my thoughts......

How many of us have real friends? I mean Im sure we all know alot of people but would any of us consider them "friends".

Your friends are suppose to have your back. There suppose to boost you up when your feeling down and tell you honestly when your behaving like an asshole.

A real friend is there for the good and the bad. The times when your low on cash and high on stress.

Friends are suppose to be above all things LOYAL......They are not your friends if at the first sign of "trouble" in your relationship they go out and tell your business to any one that will listen. No matter how much they deny it if other people know shit you only told them its time to cut them loose.

Now, the kind of friend you want is the kind you should be. Friendships can't be onesided. Then your not really " friends" are you?

I want to thank my friends, the few real friends that I have that know me inside and out. That have seen the good, the bad, and the Ugly. Thank you for always being there . Your more than my friends you guys are my family.