From Lovers to roomates
From Lovers to roomates… what the hell happened?
In every relationship you have your “ bad times” . That time when things between the two of you just aint right. Maybe you try to work things out, maybe you wait till the storm passes to see whats up, but either way they is some kind of “standstill “ of the relationship.
I’ve been in this relationship for more than 10 years and I just feel like we have grown apart. I don’t want to continue being unhappy cause other people have a hard time excepting the truth. The truth is that Im not in love with him although I do love him. Its been like this for awhile now. I hate that I feel this way but I do.
I know that I am not perfect but I have been there through everything and all I want is a little romance. Some ambition on his part and to be “ in love “ again.
Now don’t think that I haven’t mention this to him cause I have no problem saying what I got to say. He knows. Its just that we have kids so he thinks because of that I am going to stay by his side cause I don’t want to hurt my kids……and he is right. That’s the only thing keeping me by his side and I know that’s not healthy but I am trying to do the right thing for all of us.
So my question is how long do you wait to see if your relationship has a chance before you throw in the towel?
In every relationship you have your “ bad times” . That time when things between the two of you just aint right. Maybe you try to work things out, maybe you wait till the storm passes to see whats up, but either way they is some kind of “standstill “ of the relationship.
I’ve been in this relationship for more than 10 years and I just feel like we have grown apart. I don’t want to continue being unhappy cause other people have a hard time excepting the truth. The truth is that Im not in love with him although I do love him. Its been like this for awhile now. I hate that I feel this way but I do.
I know that I am not perfect but I have been there through everything and all I want is a little romance. Some ambition on his part and to be “ in love “ again.
Now don’t think that I haven’t mention this to him cause I have no problem saying what I got to say. He knows. Its just that we have kids so he thinks because of that I am going to stay by his side cause I don’t want to hurt my kids……and he is right. That’s the only thing keeping me by his side and I know that’s not healthy but I am trying to do the right thing for all of us.
So my question is how long do you wait to see if your relationship has a chance before you throw in the towel?
First of all 10 years is along time. Second, I have been in your shoes and I learned that my kid would understand if I left his dad. Third, if you don't really love you or have any sexual desire for him, talk to him about your feeling and see if he changes. If not it is up to the both of you to make the change NOT TO WAIT AND SEE.
You want romance, create it. You want to be in love again change your way of thinking a spice of your relationship and love will come. It is what you make of it. If you make the move and he realizes what you want he will make the move with you, but you must communicate first in order to see change and love again. I know just how you feel I have been there.
Posted by
My-Conscience |
9:05 PM
@ MCM .. what your saying makes perfect sense, sadly I really have tried all that and things get better for all of two weeks and then were right back where we started. I feel like I am always the one trying and like Im in this relationship alone. Don't get me wrong I know he loves me but I think if he really loved me HE would make more of an effort and that just seems ( to Him) to be extremely difficult.
I pray everyday to find the answer to make this right but at this point I feel like our relationship ended awhile ago and were just "pretending" now.
Thanks for taking the time to respond. It helps to hear from someone who's been where I at.
@ Sweet.. Thanks for the words of encouragement. I know no matter what that I will get through what ever is meant to be but its cool to hear people rooting you on.
Posted by
Msnhim |
2:01 PM
I am the last one to give relationship advice because my track record has shown that I know nothing about them (otherwise some of the ones I've been in would have worked out a little better). What I do know a little something about is life. Life is what you make it. If you aren't happy, do what you have to do to make yourself happy. Is it gonna take more energy to go or more energy to fight. If you decide to fight, make sure you aren't fighting alone. You can't save anything alone that it takes two people to save.
Posted by
Organized Noise |
3:50 PM
@ Organized .. Thanks for your comments. It helps to hear from the male point of view
Posted by
Msnhim |
4:00 PM
I understand what you're feeling, I had to walk away from an eight year relationship with my son's father and it was not easy. My biggest concern was my son and it tore me apart to have to be the one to walk away, but I NEEDED to, and I'm happy I did.
I'm in no way telling you to leave, but what I'm saying is to believe in your heart that whatever your decision is, it's the right thing. Take a step back and evaluate if it's worth revitalizing this relationship, and if the pros outweigh the cons, then go for it! Try to be creative ;-)........maybe you both need to get away (just the two of you) for about a week and re-discover each other.
Posted by
Cutie Cola |
6:29 PM
@ X .. thanks it sounds like you've been in my shoes before. I can honestly say that I have tried everything to make this marriage work but I feel like Im in this relationship alone. Don't get me wrong i know that he loves me but Its because of that love i feel he should put more of am effort and he just doesn't. He is comfortable the way things are and I just cant do it anymore.
Posted by
Msnhim |
4:07 PM
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Posted by
Anonymous |
2:38 PM