I just want to know why...

As his aunt, I'm sure you've seen him in action and know what you're getting into. I commend and applaud you effort and obvious show of love for both your sister and your nephew - I don't think that I would have or could have made the same decision. I also hope that you don't live to regret it one day, and that he eventually gets it.

I really applaud you for taking in your nephew. That is what families used to do. They never gave up on children.

Even thought it seems a mouthful right now, just know that everything is going to work out just fine.

I would have done the same thing as you. There have actually been 2 times where me and my husband almost got teenangers of family members and friends. Thankfully everything worked out with their parents and we didn't need to step in on a perminent basis. Its going to be hard (like you didn't know that already) But maybe he will respond to you and your husband better then he has with his own parents. Especially since you guys are taking him because you "want" to not because you birthed him. If he knows the rules from the jump maybe he wont be tempted to test them over and over again. Good Luck!

My suggestions on how to deal with a belligerent and angry young man? Be honest and sincere. Tell him what you expect and what are the consequences if he does not comply. Share yourself and some of your struggles from the past and present. Sometimes trying to be good role models we don't let kids see the inner struggles, the changes we would make if we could. Feel me? Laugh when you can with him. Encourage him to be himself, and at the risk of sounding corny his best self. Let him define who he wants to be. Dream killin' even unintentional makes truly hearing you or trusting/believing you stop. Talk to him as a responsible young adult. I am praying for you, your husband and him. It worked with my nephews, they still tell me everything when they see me. TMI - believe it!

I know P will have a long sermon for you when she gets over here on this VERY SUBJECT...she speaks from experience.

But MY spin, just prepare yourself for a shift. Adding another person to your home will always cause some unsettled nerves. But as long as your nephew has a clear understanding of what's expected of him, hopefully he won't give you the same problems. but please know what you're getting yourself into...it's a big task - especially if he's troubled. Then again...maybe a change of scenary may help! Who knows? good luck!

My nephew is still a baby but I've already told my sister that if she ever needed me to keep him I would love to help her out. Good job I'm sure once he has a set schedule he'll do better

Girl I have a feeling me and you are about to get REAL CLOSE! *LoL* You already got Mizz Nicky...the two of us together...watch out now! *LoL*

Mija just follow your gut. That is all. Oh and pray! A LOT.

I applaudd you for stepping up. Family is everything. If he is anything like the girls I work with on a weekly basis(an I send them home after it's over), you have got your hands full. I hope everything works out for you.

I know teenagers are harder cuz they are already grown and set in their ways...and I dont believe a mohter shoul ever put a man abover her own child. WHo knows? Maybe under your care, he will flourish into a respectable young man..it coulda been the environment he was in..Teenagers have a tendecny to act out and rebel. Im sure you will do just fine...

Teenagers...UGH!

That's nice you are taking him in. Maybe he just need a change of scenery

You have done the right thing.

I took custody of my nephew when he was 5 and I was 18 years old. I had him for two years.

You have NO idea what a difference you may be able to make in his life. He very well may need a structured lifestyle that you can accommodate.

As much as we said as children that we wanted to do what we wanted to do, one of the most fundamental things that we had was, indeed structure. I can see, now, in both of my sisters lives their inability to provide that (and I'm not talking about YOUR sister at this point) has affected some of my nieces and nephews.

That is not to say that the road will be a smooth one; I would expect that you will get that know it all mentality that many teenagers have now as well as that "You're Not MY mama" routine.

But I also would NOT be surprised if you get more of a positive reaction than people may expect. And this is not to ONE UP on your sister; it is to save this boy's life.

One book that I would get him would be Letters to a Young Brother - Manifest Your Destiny by Hill Harper. It's on Amazon.

Please keep us posted. You are doing the right thing.

What good are our lives if we don't make a difference in others?

wow! that is such a big step! I wish you much success. I'm sure you'll be able to turn him around. :)

Thanks guys for all your well wishes as well as your advise and tips. I'll keep you posted as I will be needing every little help I can get.

I going to tell you the honest to god truth.
I'd sent him to Auntie Cole's house.
PS-All the kids go there he'll be just fine!!
--M

That's a great story. Waiting for more. »

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